| Bumper Sticker Humor |
| Caution: I drive like you do. |
There are 3 kinds of people:
those who can count & those who can't. |
Be nice to your kids.
They'll choose your nursing home. |
Make it idiot-proof
and someone will make a better idiot. |
Give me ambiguity
or give me something else. |
It's lonely at the top,
but you eat better. |
A bartender is just a pharmacist
with a limited inventory. |
Few women admit their age;
Fewer men act it. |
OK, who stopped payment
on my reality check? |
No radio - Already stolen. |
Sorry, I don't date
outside my species. |
I didn't fight my way to the top
of the food chain to be a vegetarian. |
Jack Kevorkian for
White House Physician. |
Sometimes I wake up grumpy;
Other times I let her sleep. |
I get enough exercise
just pushing my luck. |
Rehab is for quitters. |
I love cats...
they taste just like chicken. |
He who laughs last thinks slowest. |
We have enough youth,
how about a fountain of Smart? |
Forget about World Peace...
Visualize using your turn signal. |
I'm not as think
as you drunk I am. |
|
Learn from your parents' mistakes
- use birth control. |
I brake for no apparent reason. |
Cover me.
I'm changing lanes. |
All generalizations are false. |
Keep honking...
I'm reloading. |
Horn broken.
Watch for finger. |
Thank God for the IRS
Without them I'd be stinking rich! |
Nonconformists are all alike |
| Horn broken - Watch for finger |
Hug your kids at home
belt them in the car! |
The kids drive me crazy.
I drive them everywhere |
MY HONOR STUDENT
FIRED YOUR STUPID KID |
Body by Nautilus;
brain by Mattel |
Car will explode upon impact |
I didn't work my way to the top of
the food chain to eat vegetables |
Why am I the only person on earth
that knows how to drive? |
Don't laugh at these fogged up
windows; it's your daughter in here |
My other car is a Zamboni |
| CAUTION : Driver Singing |
My child was inmate of the
month at the county jail |
Do what you did when you were a kid:
fly a kite, go fishing, hunt a dinosaur |
If you can read this,
you're in phaser range |
Driver carries only
$20 worth of ammunition |
If we weren't meant to eat animals,
why are they made of meat? |
Don't steal... The government
does not like the competition. |
Women Like Simple
Things In Life......Men! |
Never Underestimate The Power Of
Stupid People In Large Groups |
Missing: Husband And Dog;
Attention: $100.00 Reward For Dog |
Hire Teenagers
while they still know everything! |
When blondes have more fun,
do they know it? |
| Hang up and drive |
Sometimes I wish life had subtitles |
Madness takes its toll
please have exact change ready |
COVER ME.
I'M CHANGING LANES |
AS LONG AS THERE ARE TESTS,
THERE WILL BE PRAYER IN SCHOOLS |
YOUR KID MAY BE AN HONOR STUDENT
BUT YOU'RE STILL AN IDIOT! |
SMILE, ITS THE SECOND BEST THING
YOU CAN DO WITH YOUR LIPS |
I KILLED A 6-PACK
JUST TO WATCH IT DIE |
Thank God for the IRS
Without them I'd be stinking rich! |
Nonconformists are all alike |
| Horn broken - Watch for finger |
Hug your kids at home
belt them in the car! |
The kids drive me crazy.
I drive them everywhere |
MY HONOR STUDENT
FIRED YOUR STUPID KID |
Forget about world peace...
visualize using your turn signal. |
I didn't fight my way to the top of
the food chain to be a vegetarian. |
Women who seek to be equal
with men lack ambition. |
If we aren't supposed to eat animals,
why are they made with meat? |
Few women admit their age,
few men act it. |
I don't suffer from insanity,
I enjoy every minute of it. |
It's lonely at the top,
but you eat better. |
Love: two vowels, two consonants,
two fools. |
According to my calculations
the problem doesn't exist. |
Pride is what we have.
Vanity is what others have. |
Warning: dates on calendar
are closer than they appear. |
Give me ambiguity or give me
something else. |
We have enough youth, how about a
fountain of "smart." |
Why is "abbreviation"
such a long word? |
