Movie Reviews

Here's my movie review page! Please take a look at my ratings grid for movies I have reviewed myself or had guest reviewer contributions. For a great review source, check out the Movie Review Query Engine.
 
 

Five-Star Rating System:

0= You could film a more entertaining movie in your backyard with child actors and Barney the purple dinosaur-- BE KIND, DON'T REWIND.
1= NoDoze anyone?
2= My eyebrows moved up and down a couple of times and I think I smirked once, but who's countin?'
3= Most worthy of renting, rewinding later, and possibly even reflecting upon.
4= Very interesting, exciting, inspiring, and generally worthwhile.
5= It was so awesome dude, I laughed, I cryed, I hurled.
 
 

8MM***1/2
I thought this movie was one of the creepiest movies I've seen since Silence of the Lambs and Kiss the Girls. It's not light subject matter. Nicholas Cage's performance was solid, but a bit overdone in places. The following review is from Gregory A. Swarthout from the Movie Connection:

Stars: Nicolas Cage, Joaquin Phoenix, James Gandolfini, Peter Stormare, Anthony Heald, Christopher Bauer, Catherine Keener. Written by Andrew Kevin Walker. Directed by Joel Schumacher. Rated R for strong perverse sexuality and violence, and for strong language.

Soon after the death of a noted multi-millionaire, his widow discovers an 8-millimeter film in his private safe. The film appears to be a bit of raw pornography with a murder for its climax. Even understanding that so-called "snuff films" are purely the stuff of urban legends, she wants private investigator Tom Welles (Nicolas Cage) to track down the girl in the video to establish for sure that this very real looking film does not, in fact, depict an actual death. The trail that Tom follows starts out very weak but eventually leads to the dark, dangerous underground of pornography too raw for the average pervert. In the end the truth is revealed, but not before Tom, himself, is caught in the middle of a deadly situation.

"8MM" is a very intriguing film with an original premise. It does not shrink away from depicting the ugliness of its subject matter, and shows the evolution of its protagonist’s viewpoint quite convincingly. That being said, I can’t think of one single person in my acquaintance to whom I could recommend this film. It represents a loss of innocence that would forever discolor someone’s view of society, no matter how easily they would write it off as a work of fiction."8MM" may not be a bad film, but I can’t in good conscience encourage anyone to see it.
 

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me****
"There are some big laughs in 'Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me,' but they're separated by uncertain passages of noodling. You can sense it when comedians know they have dead aim and are zeroing in for the kill. You can also sense it when they don't trust their material. The first 'Austin Powers' movie burst with confidence:  Mike Myers knew he was onto something. This time, too many scenes end on a flat note, like those 'Saturday Night Live' sketches that run out of steam before they end. "SNL" cuts to music or commercials; 'Austin Powers' cuts to song-and-dance interludes." (Chicago Sun Times-- Roger Ebert)

Austin Powers/Dr. Evil/Fat Bastard: Mike Myers
Felicity Shagwell: Heather Graham
Vanessa Kensington: Elizabeth Hurley
Young Number Two: Rob Lowe
Basil Exposition: Michael York
Number Two 1999: Robert Wagner
Scott Evil: Seth Green
Robin Swallows: Gia Carides

It's natural to compare a sequel to its predecessor but hardly fair. The first "Austin Powers" movie was new and breakthrough comedy that exploited the current fascination young people have with the Sixties and Seventies sexual revolution that Baby Boomers and proto-GenXers still remember. How could it miss, really? Austin Powers 2 attempts to beat the sequel stigma by packing more punchlines and low-brow humor into each scene. If you thought the first movie was a gas, you won't be disappointed with the second as long as you don't expect the same whollup the first movie delivered.
If you don't like fart jokes and sexual innuendo, don't bother.

Dr. Evil  returns the present day, 1999, thawing out in his Big Boy spacecraft after a 30-year deep cryogenic sleep.  After Evil sets up camp in his new secret lair, he embarks on a journey back to 1969 in his time machine to steal Austin Power's mojo, that certain "I don't know what" that makes Powers tick. Austin must get his mojo back by going back in time himself, save the world, save his new girlfriend Felicity Shagwell, and return to 1999 with his mojo intact. Two major comedic characters shine, Fat Bastard (also Myers) and Dr. Evil's clone and new little buddy Mini-me (1/8 the size and 8 times the strength). --T.B.
 

Basil **
About a father whose obsession with keeping up his sons' Windemere Hall image rips apart a family. Oldest son takes up with local daughter of school teacher trash-- Gone!! You're outa the will. Younger son  Basil (Jared Leto) upholds his fathers standards, doing so in total isolation. When new friend Mannion (Christian Slater) saves his life, Basil takes his new mate into his confidence and is set up with the beautiful, but non-reciprocating local girl Julia (Claire Forlani) whom he secretly weds. When "Major Dad" finds out that young Basil's gives his birthrite to the girl, the shite hits the fan. Marginally entertaining. -- T.B.

“Cashing in on the success of turn of century romances comes Basil, the lily-livered fop. Based on the novel by Wilkie Collins, this adaptation is about as interesting as a bowl of congealed custard.” (Apollo Leisure Guide -- Elspeth Haughton)
 

A Civil Action****
Seemingly sleezy personal injury firm headed by Jan Schlichtmann (John Travolta), takes on giant Beatrice Foods legal team headed by Jerome Facher (Robert Duvall) to battle it out for damages caused by W.R. Grace Industries Tannery illegal dumping  of trichloroethylene (TCE), an agent used in waterproofing leather, into local Woburn, MA ground water supplies. The poisoned water supply allegedly led to the leukemia deaths of several children. The movie is based on a bestseller written by Jonathan Harr, describing an actual 1980s legal battle that lasted eight years and warranted 500 pages. The book chronicles the liability lawsuit filed by eight blue-collar families.

The drama played out in this movie is about how a man like Schlichtmann can turn himself around to reach for principles and honor is his profession, rather than the callous, cut-throat practices that are generally ascribed to lawyers. However, one must asked themself if it was by greed all along that Schlichtmann was motivated, eventually leading to his personal and firm's financial downfall. Travolta shines in this film opposite a superb performance by Duval and a great supporting cast. --T.B.

“‘A Civil Action’ comes close, achingly close, to greatness. Finely cast, classically shot, written and directed with sureness and skill and based on a book compelling enough to stay on bestseller lists for two years, it's a story told so confidently and well that it seems fated to succeed. But as proficient a job as writer-director Steve Zaillian and his team do, ‘A Civil Action’ has unmistakably unraveled by its close. It gets into difficulties all those combined skills can't overcome, upended both by the situation it wants to accurately portray and by a crucial casting decision. ‘A Civil Action’ is good enough to perhaps have surmounted one of those difficulties, but both of them prove to be too much.” (Kenneth Turan, L.A. Times)
 

Enemy of the State****
Will Smith, Gene Hackman, and Lisa Bonet??? I was curious just to see Bonet's return to the screen, albeit brief. Lawyer Robert Dean (Smith) receives unwanted present in form of video showing assassination of a congressman, rubbed out by another powerful politician who has hands in the bowels of national security secrets and organizations. A high tech satellite ground survellience crew monitors the pursued Smith with shocking accuracy. These guys are lovable techies like the stormchasers in Twister, with an stock actor borrowed from the tornado film. Hackman gives a strong performance as usual. Interesting plot, good special effects and constant action. --T.B.
 

In Dreams***
Annette Benning, Robert Downey, Jr. I got lazy here, but this one's semi-worthwhile. Here's an excerpt from the "Real Deal."

In Dreams might keep you awake at night, but not because of its creepy imagery, bizarre visual style
or story about a clairvoyant madman who lures young girls to their untimely deaths. No, the source of
potential sleeplessness here lies within the movie's brutally squandered potential, the least of which is
an admittedly nifty premise — even by tired serial killer genre standards. The big letdown, however,
comes upon the realization that this 100-minute head-scratcher was masterminded by Neil Jordan, the
man behind The Crying Game. He's no stranger to cinematic weirdness, but this nutty nonsense really
pushes the envelope.

"Things start out strong enough, with cinematographer Darius Khondji's stunning camera work guiding viewers into the bowels of a underwater ghost town during a creepy prologue that establishes a notably grim tone right off the bat. This eerie opulence remains a dazzling display of showmanship throughout the entire film — there's even something macabre about the way Khondji photographs a rustic, seemingly innocent New England autumn — but if there ever was a film that didn't deserve so good a polish, it's this one. Don't knock the look, but say what you will about the foolish plot, underdeveloped characters and flat dialogue.

Annette Bening, another asset In Dreams shouldn't be so lucky to boast, gives an increasingly effective performance in a role that doesn't do much for her in return. She plays Claire Cooper, a Massachusetts children's book illustrator who's plagued by terrifying nightmares involving kidnaped children. She thinks these visions are a warning knell for horrible, soon-to-be-committed crimes, but neither her ho-hum husband (Aidan Quinn) nor the ho-hummer police can muster up the sense to take her seriously. This being a thriller, we know that she is, in fact, on the money, and it's a credit to Bening's acting that she delves equally into Claire's madness and compassion.

But as soon as a body turns up and Claire has given the authorities reason enough to believe her claims, In Dreams trades in its nifty supernatural chills for a long series of allegedly spooky jolts that simply refuse to make sense. Scenes pile up like a car wreck with little or no explanation or exposition. Subplots appear and disappear. When Claire finally comes face-to-face with our evil murderer (Robert Downey Jr.), it turns out his name is Vivian, he's clairvoyant and he's got some major issues with mama, a la Norman Bates. In Dreams reaches its absurdist zenith here, and the climax drags with mumbled revelations and laughable twists." © 1999 University of Maryland Baltimore County “The Reel Deal”--Jamie Peck
 

Message in a Bottle ****
Single mom Theresa Osborne (Robin Wright Penn) leaves her young son Jason (Jesse James) with his father for a few weeks. Going for a run on a New England beach, where she finds a bottle with a message in it addessed to a woman named Catherine. The mystery lover laments his loss of Catherine in the letter and expresses his deep, heartfelt feelings for his lost love employing seafaring jargon, describing her as his "True North."  Theresa is touched by the words of the mystery writer and returns to her job at the Chicago Tribune. Her female co-workers are also moved by the letter and it finds it way into print the next day, eliciting tons of letters from readers.

Theresa's curiosity about the writer's identity takes her on a journey to Morehead City, North Carolina where she finds the writer, a North Carolina ship repairman named Garret Blake (Kevin Coster). Without confessing her identity and motives, Theresa strikes up a relationship with the widower, and also forms a bond with his father (Paul Newman). The movie focuses on Garret's struggle to let go of the memory of his lost wife and renew himself with his new found love Theresa.  This is a bitter sweet movie that will melt the hardest of hearts. This was a "Sleepless in Seattle" type movie, but with much better acting, script, and scenery.
 

Pirates of Silicon Valley (TNT Special Movie)***
Anthony Michael Hall and Noah Wiley play Microsoft CEO Bill Gates and Apple CEO Steve Jobs, respectively, in this dramatized documentary of the shaping of today's personal computer landscape. Wiley is nearly a Jobs body double, but also plays a convincing role of what one preconceives of the reputation Jobs has cultured via the media. Hall plays a shrewd Gates character who is portrayed as the quintessential entrepreneur. Movie accents the legal "stealing" of ideas by both ruthless main characters. This is must for computer nerds of all shapes and sizes.  Don’t expect mega drama here, however.  The movie attempts to document on video historically what essentially made Gates and Jobs the pioneers of PCs with some liberties, I’m sure, taken by the script writer. --T.B.
 

Return to Paradise****
Three buddies rendezvous for summer fun in Malaysia. When they wreck a bicycle one of them rents without paying back the rentor,  the authorities come to investigate and find a huge hash stash the boys tossed in the garbage (oops, we bought too much). Two of the friends leave a day ahead of the police but the other poor Lewis (Joaquin Phoenix) gets to do the time for the all of them. Lewis spending years imprisoned and facing execution, his lawyer sister Beth Eastern (Anne Heche) desperately tries to convince long lost friends Sheriff (Vince Vaughn) and Tony (David Conrad), now living comfortable lives in NYC, to return to Malaysia to serve time with Lewis to get a stay of execution for him. This movie will test anyone's idea of friendship. --T.B.
 

Simon Birch****1/2
A heartwarming tale of two unlikely childhood friends, one vertically-challenged Simon Birch (Ian Michael Smith) and one illegitimate Joe Wentworth (Joseph Mazzello), a product of an affair with a man whose identity is closely guarded by his Aphrodite-like mother. Simon’s crush on Joe’s single mother Rebecca Wentworth (Ashley Judd) and crooning over fellow child girlfriend yields both comedy and tension. When Simon’s only swing-away at-bat, launches his baseball in foul grounds, Joe’s mother is whisked away in tragedy.  A friendship is put to its true test.

Jim Carrey plays grown up Joe recounting his days as a youth and how his lost little friend instilled his faith in God and man. What lovable Simon does not have in stature, he makes up for in character (well, most of the time anyway). Carrey's role is limited to intermittent narration, not nearly as prevalent as TV sitcom “Wonder Years” narrator, but has same effect. I hate using this hackneyed phrase, but Simon Birch is truly the “feel good” movie of the year, restoring your faith in the mysterious way that purpose is fulfilled in our lives. Must see for anyone. --T.B.
 

A Simple Plan****1/2
Brothers Hank (Bill Paxton) and Jacob (Billy Bob Thornton) and Jacob’s redneck buddie Lou find 4.5 million bucks stashed in a crashed plane in the woods near their hometown. Greed dictates the flow of the rest of the plot and it plays out like a medieval exemplar on the evils of avarice. Unlike similar movies, this emphasizes the dynamic between family and friends and where the true loyalty lies. Hank’s wife Sarah (Bridget Fonda), was initially for the trio turning the money back in to authorities, but greed gets to her too. Thomson’s comparison to MacBeth (excerpt from Savoy magazine) is right on the mark. Sarah’s character seemingly turns in to a modern-day Lady MacBeth, and even she seems to stir up the cauldron of temptation and deception as did the witches of MacBeth. Also like MacBeth,  “A Simple Plan” built up the same suspense that culminated in a thundering crescendo. Very well done script and the acting was more than adequate from the entire cast. --T.B.

“The interplay between the characters gained further depth against the evocative setting — against the countryside which stretched out, in all directions, blank, awesome, indifferent, and against the florescent-lit interiors, offset by Formica counters, vinyl chairs, Styrofoam coffee cups. It was terrain as foreboding as Macbeth’s blasted heath, made all the more chilling because of its blandness.” (Bjorn Thomson, Savoy Magazine)
 

The Thin Red Line *
“A movie based on the novel by James Jones, The Thin Red Line tells the story of a group of men, an Army Rifle company called C-for-Charlie, who change, suffer and ultimately make essential discoveries about themselves during the fierce World War II battle of Guadalcanal. The story takes place as Army troops are moved in to relieve battle-weary Marine units. It follows their journey, from the surprise of an unopposed landing, through the bloody and exhausting battles that follow, to the ultimate departure of those who survived.”  (excerpt from online MovieGuide)

Lots of stars in what I would have expected to be a blockbuster war flick, but this one falls flat on its face.  Here's the list: Sean Penn, George Clooney, John Cusack, Woody Harrelson, Nick Nolte, and John Travolta. How could this miss, right? El stinko. Lynne was reading her wedding guide 15 minutes into this bomb. I tried to stick with it but the sheer boredom of the movie compelled me to hit the Stop button at about the 3/4 mark. Sean Penn playing First Sgt. Edward Welsh  headlines this movie but his role was barely memorable. In fact, one wonders if there's any point to the movie but to drive home the "war is hell" motif. Plot, what plot? No reason to rent this one. Save your four bucks. --T.B.
 

Very Bad Things***1/2
A group of 30-something friends takes off for Las Vegas for a final hoorah for blushing groom Kyle (Jon Favreau). His best man, Boyd (Christian Slater), mortal enemy of bride-to-be (Cameron Diaz), plans the event that quickly goes from hedonist's paradise to tragedy thanks to his brother's accidental slaying of the night's entertainment. A chain of "very bad" events leads up to a difficult cover-up for the clan. Diaz will stop at nothing to ensure the perfect wedding.

In the same vane of Natural Born Killers, this is black comedy that satirizes the way our society has become inured to violence by feeding you an oversized portion of it to make you feel a little queezy. Unfortunately, some folks misinterpret this dramatic device as violence promotion, obscuring its inherent value as a moral lesson to us all. This movie is more powerful than Natural Born Killers in its satirical approach because these killers are regular, everyday people. Groundbreaking really. You need a strong stomach to view "parts" in this movie, not so much graphically speaking but context-wise. --T.B.
 

Virus**1/2
Jamie Lee Curtis, William Baldwin, Donald Sutherland. You'd think this trio could catapult any weakly written script into the sci-fi thriller it masquerades as. WRONG! Sutherland plays the captain of the Sea Star, a tugboat pulling in a tanker that gets waterlogged by hurricane-induced swells and nearly pulls down the tug with it. After watching the payload sink, the crew, including second-mate Jamie Lee Curtis and brash deck hand William Baldwin, sails for the calm eye to radio for help as their damaged tug sinks.

Just as they begin to give up hope, a radar blip leads them to an abandoned Russian sattelite cruiser with a mysteriously missing crew. They soon find out that there's something seriously wrong when the board the vessel and find it's inhabited by weird robots. Now they must struggle for their lives, as these are not ordinary assembly line robots, but killer robots built by an alien intelligence that takes the form of electricity. This movie gets even more bizzare and the dialogue gets worse. None of the characters ever really get developed, although we get the sense that the captian would sell his mother for a buck. This one flounders, but for those of you who like gore, it may be worth a look.
 

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